For all those out there who may be feeling temporarily
lost and uncertain about their direction in life…
One of the most beautiful and unknown gems in Eastern non-duality, whom I recently discovered thanks to my mentor GD, is Wu Hsin. Born a hundred years after Confucius, his name literally means ‘no-mind’. And true to his name, there is no trace of him available – no profile, no wikipedia entry, one single image. This is just how he would have liked it I suppose – after all, what is the value in deliberating over the life story of someone who says our life story is a dream?
‘Behind The Mind’ is a collection of his short daily discourses, some of them literally just a few sentences long, at the end of which he tells students to ponder over the words till the next day. Like the recent and better-known Nisargadatta Maharaj, Wu Hsin’s words are stark, unsentimental and powerful. “Listen to Wu Hsin,” he says, “but do not expect to benefit in any way. Who is there to be benefitted? Any seeming benefit is only another stitch in the tapestry of the personal narrative.”
A few timeless pointers from this must-read collection:
An imagined entity desires to become an enlightened imagined entity. What’s the point? It is like trying to measure space. Yet, this will continue until such time as the distinction is made between this that I am and that that I appear to be.
Dismount the pendulum of fear and desire. That ground beneath you is the Source and Support.
See that you create the space in which the world moves, the time in which it lasts. Come to realize that the world is only sand. You may play with it, you may walk on it, but don’t build your house there. There is no journey, as such. It may not seem so, but we are always back where we started. What we were in essence, and what we will be in essence, is what we are in essence.
All thinking is imaginary because the person talking to you is imaginary. There is no self talking to yourself; in fact, there also is no “yourself”. Stay a time in silence. Do not accept these words; look for yourself for “yourself”.
The two great delusions are that life is controllable and that there is an entity, me, who can exercise said control. But if we cannot even control the thoughts that appear to us, how can we possibly believe we can control what occurs to us?
Wherever you go, you carry with you the sense of here and now. This is what distinguishes any present experience from memory. It reveals that space and time are in you and not the other way around. Most people are not acquainted with the sense of their being but only with the knowledge of their doing.
Enlightenment is one more concept to add to your collection, yet another idea regarding improving yourself, discovering yourself, or obtaining peace and happiness.
Don’t take life personally. The sun has no care for what passes through the sky.
* * *
So here’s what I experienced last night:
Travelling by private jet. Check.
Police escort and bouncers. Check.
Being chauffeured in a Rolls Royce Phantom. Check.
Partying with people considered legends. Check.
Twelve thousand screaming fans. Check.
Not many of us experience the superstar life, let alone all in one evening, but I did when I travelled from Mumbai to Chennai along with actor Shah Rukh Khan to receive the Chevalier Sivaji Ganesan award last night. It was a grand event being televised for an estimated global audience of ten million viewers. Shah Rukh was being flown 1300 kms just for a few hours. And as I waited in the whisper-quiet lounge of the Corporate Aviation terminal for Shah Rukh, who was late as usual, I marveled at what a big deal it all was going to be.
But when I look back, what moved me finally were the quiet, almost unnoticed things that Shah Rukh did along the way. The little jokes he shared with the security officers at the private airport. Like the macho security guard whose nametag read “R Meena”. Shah Rukh checked with him about his name again, and asked him where he was from, and said with a grin, “Don’t mind, sir, but in my film, the heroine is called Meena.” As Shah Rukh gave him a brotherly half-hug, the man glowed at the attention not many billionaires gave him.
On the plane, a super mid-sized Challenger 605, he remembered to ask the pilot if the pictures they had taken the last time had turned out well. And reminded the flight attendant to please get more of the little candy sweets he had fallen in love with. As we entered, the cabin was still being fumigated and clouds of surreal smoky mist floated across our knees. When the flight attendant began to apologize profusely, he stopped her, “No, I don’t mind – except that I start feeling that I am doing a love song.”
When we landed, there was a stunning black Rolls Royce Phantom waiting for us. Sitting inside, Shah Rukh was amused to discover that the Rolls Royce had a mute button for the car stereo embedded on the back seat window. With the wide-eyed glee of a child, he pressed it again and again. And we spoke about the joy he gets from the quiet charity he does as he gets older and his plans to spend more time with it. We spoke about prayers and bringing up our children to remember their parents for what they contributed to the planet.
When our car pulled up at the stadium gate, he was still in his travelling clothes – frayed jeans, t-shirt, sneakers and unkempt hair – and was unhappy by the security phalanx pushing away all photographers and cameras till he changed into his formal suit backstage. “This is how I look,” he said with a smile. “What’s wrong if they photograph me?”
A quick change in the van later, he emerged wearing a cravat and a bow-tie and a jet black suit and slicked back hair, looking every inch a superstar. The crowd roared as he walked in and he waved back and sat on his front-row round table. When I pointed out to him an A-list director sitting a few round tables back with his family, Shah Rukh got up and walked into the crowd to him and hugged him. The director sent me an SMS a few seconds later: Wow, I can’t believe Shah Rukh Khan hugged me.
What I will remember about the evening was his willingness to do things far beyond what was expected of him. That is a lesson worth learning: how to give love so totally to others, that their love rushes back to us, as if to fill the space created. How to stop calculating, conserving, protecting and simply become an open-hearted blessing to every person you meet for a little while. To give with the utter confidence that the Universe invariably returns the same goodness. Or even better, to give like one to whom the Universe has already given too much goodness.
At the stadium, on the hottest evening of May, with the temperature above 40 degrees centigrade, it was so hot that within a few minutes Shah Rukh looked like he had been drenched in a thunder shower. But his smile didn’t fade. Neither did the spring in his step when the awards segment and speeches by others continued for some twenty-odd minutes. He danced with little children on stage asking them to please cover for his bad dancing. He joked, complimented, thanked, bowed and won hearts of the twelve thousand fans.
What I loved was that little moment that happened when, after he received the award, we were on our way back to the vanity van. A young girl was leaning against a wall with her back to us, talking on her phone. Shah Rukh mischievously tapped her on the shoulder and walked past without looking back. When she half-turned and saw who had just tapped her, the phone almost fell out of her hand.
This is not to say that Shah Rukh has been a paragon of virtue all his life, or even all evening. He was distracted, snappish, and even grumpy at times – but when he turned on his heart-light, he was a joy to behold. I knew that some of the generous promises he made would not be met. Some of the humility was public necessity. But in that moment, what mattered was that even that came from a space of wanting to give joy.
As the midnight rolled into the next day, the tiredness slowly began to tell in the way his eyes strained and lines deepened. But he somehow didn’t allow it to crystallize into a ‘no’ to the universe. Though he was under medication for a severe back spasm and due for surgery in a few weeks, he stayed till four am – till their pilot called to remind them they were running out of landing clearance time. At the after party, he posed for pictures with every fan who requested for it – other South Indian actors and directors, screaming girls from the awards show crew, glowing wives of executives, young starlets, reporters, police officials, random fans… Finally, even the photographer who was taking the pictures requested for a keepsake picture.
When it was all done, I dropped him to the airport. It was amusing to see the bleary-eyed terminal come alive with heads turned and voices whispered: “Is it…? Really…?!!” From the glass frontage I could see Shah Rukh, dead-tired and eyes squinting with sleep, beginning yet another series of greetings as he walked with his team to his aircraft. After a few hours of sleep, he would be up for his shoot in another city. Beginning yet another day of the superstar life.
As I drove back from the airport alone, the Rolls Royce felt large and roomy and… empty. The secret to the superstar life, I learnt, is not in the $2m car or the $22m jet, it is in giving superstar-sized doses of love. It’s in turning on your heart-light. And the quantum of joy we give others is what is reflected back to us, whether we are businessmen, politicians, healers, social workers or actors. And giving joy to those around us is something we all can do right where we are. Whether we are stars or not, we can all turn on our star-light.
For more posts on this blog related to Shah Rukh Khan, click here
Social interactions have always left me uncentred and contracted. The expansiveness I feel when I am alone is rarely how a conversation feels for me. In the past, I have rejected all conversation with Mikhail Naimy’s dismissive summation: speech is at best an honest lie, while silence is at worst a naked verity. These days, though, I am beginning to glimpse something else. Maybe the fault is not in the meetings, but in who we are being when we meet others.
We hold back our gifts for fear they may be rejected. We show up as approximations of what (we believe) others would like to see us. We dress how we are supposed to – maybe a touch of red, to show we are rebels. And we meet others as half-hearted ghosts of ourselves. With cheerful robotic sentences and fake polite enquiries, we try to become like them, and they like us. We don’t relax too deeply into ourselves when we are around them, because we may mistakenly say something authentic. We may touch upon something deep and real and shake them into thinking about their half-hearted ghost lives too. And they may hate us for it.
So, I find, I stay on the edge when I am with others. Calling anxiety as excitement, and the trembling within me as aliveness. And I hold back my gifts from them; and they from me. We both cover it up with chatter and information and complaints and plans. We try not to see in each other’s eyes the silent connection that is deeper than words. And we don’t answer the question those eyes ask of us.
These days, I am beginning to wonder: is it possible that the way we connect with another is a microcosm of how we connect with life itself?
We cling to fear as responsible and right. We hold ourselves tight lest we fly away. We turn away from seeing our own magnificence. For once we see it, we would have to leave this ‘real world’ – leave the comforting grey mundanity of it all. And then we would be the mad, bad ones. The wierdos whom we have condemned. We would be mocked, judged and outcasted, or so we believe. Therefore, we must always tighten our muscles and our nerves to hold onto this reality. Because the opposite is unthinkable. A life of vastness without a centre. A life which is a gift constantly giving unto itself.
So we hold onto our ‘reality’: a body holding its tightness as tiny, triumphant proof of its separate existence. A voice that speaks in our heads in a familiar accent, which we take as proof of the uniqueness of our ideas. And the tremulous story of our life, pieced together from half-forgotten anecdotes, which we make proof of our specialness.
We surround ourselves with ‘immediate, urgent and important’ problems to avoid facing any other reality than this. We embrace this reality even as we make-believe it holds us. And complain the gift has been denied to us.
What would it take for us to see the gift that we are? And to allow that gift to be available to everyone we meet from today? What would it take for us to express the wisdom that we are – instead of choking it back?
These days, it feels like it’s time for me to show up as me. And I can’t wait to meet you.
When my son Nirvaan was a baby, my wife and I would put our ear to his little head. We could sense a deep peace within which is hard to describe. Every baby comes on this planet carrying this gift of silence, and gradually we fill it up with information. As Zen poets use haiku to capture the silence in nature, I tried to capture the natural silence inside all babies in this free-form haiku:
My newborn baby
Listen! Inside his soft head
One of the rare writings I have cherished and revisited many times over the last many months has been a piece by nondual teacher Scott Kiloby on the long (and confusing) phase between initial seeing and full liberation. Little is written about this subject, and Kiloby has some truly eye-opening insights to share. I urge you to read the entire piece called ‘After The Fall’ on Scott’s website here. Meanwhile, an extract on 12 things to watch out for in this phase. Download it for your weekend read, you will treasure it for a long time.
[EXTRACT FROM 'AFTER THE FALL']
If you will allow me to use language freely….
These days, it seems that more and more people are experiencing shifts in perception or initial realizations of Oneness or no self, much like a satori experience in Zen. The seeing or event isn’t always accompanied by bells and whistles. It isn’t always one grand moment where absolutely everything drops away into a deep recognition of Oneness. It may be more subtle than that, like a shift in perception that quietly dawns upon you.
But I’ve been around the awakening scene long enough to know that these experiences aren’t usually the end of the seeking entirely and that there is often more to see. Yet the “more” isn’t as much about seeking some later point in one’s story. The “more” is actually “less.” Stuff falls away gradually after these events, eventually leaving one surrendered in and as the flow of life, “living naturally in the present moment,” as they say.
Before one stabilizes, there is often a lot of stuff, emotional and psychological stuff, and even leftover seeking that arises. I call this “oscillation,” which is the seeming movement back and forth between the sense of “I am my thoughts and emotions and sensations” to “I am not these things, but they still arise.”
The road to freedom is often bumpy, confusing, and filled with doubts, shadows, and old stories of deficiency, “I’m not good enough” or “I’m weak” or “I’m unlovable.” Somehow the momentum of this old way of being in the world wants to stick around, almost as if it is hanging on for dear life.
And teachers aren’t immune from it either. I’ve seen in myself and virtually every other teacher things like competition, jealousy, shadows, fundamentalism, control, and at the more extreme end greed, abuse, and even cult-like behavior. […]
Here are some other things I’ve seen through the years. By just spotting them in yourself, you can see through them.
1) Avoid beliefs like “I’m not there yet” as well as “I’ve arrived.”
Both are often mental landing points of the ego. Life is fluid and ever-changing. The ones who claim to have arrived, either implicitly or explicitly, are often holding onto a belief that life is static and that there is someone who can “arrive” at life or even awakening. Or perhaps the belief is “there is no one to arrive, I have arrived at that realization.” It’s a subtle, backdoor way of saying the same thing. And the ones that claim “I’m not there yet” are often still believing in the story of someone who can awaken, still seeking some ultimate, fictitious point in the future. Once these beliefs are dispelled, it all gets a lot clearer. How do I know these are beliefs….? Because they were beliefs I’ve held, but couldn’t see. And that’s not a statement that I have now “arrived.”
2) Watch for selective memory
Once there is a recognition that this moment is all there is, or some similar insight, it can be easy to assume that all the inquiry, methods, meetings you attended, and books you read had absolutely nothing to do with that. It can feel like all of that is some faint memory. It’s then tempting to want to tell everyone else who is doing inquiry, engaging in methods, and attending meetings and reading books to “STOP, JUST STOP.” But could you just stop? If you could have, you would have and all those inquiries, methods, meetings and books would not have been necessary.
There is a whole debate happening around whether methods are helpful or not. Why not simplify it down to this: methods seem to work for some and not for others. That takes the debate right out of it. It sucks for the ego when it can’t be right anymore. Can any of us know what is best for another? If you begin teaching or just helping a friend and you say, “All there is, is liberation, there’s nowhere to go, nothing to do, and no one to do it,” apparently there WAS something to do i.e., listen to your words or attend your meeting. If there were truly nothing to do and nowhere to go, no one would show up and you would not need to utter a single word about “what is” or “liberation.”
When awakening dawns, and we assume that inquiry, methods, meditation, or whatever had nothing to do with it, it’s like a guy going into a donut shop. He eats one donut but it doesn’t make him full. Then he eats another, then another. Still not full. Then after the 12th donut, he eats a muffin and says, “Damn, why did I eat all those donuts, when I could have just gotten full from eating this muffin?” We can never know how methods and inquiries are or are not helpful for others. We can only speak what worked for us, and let the cards fall where they may.
3) Avoid denying relativity
First of all, how can you deny relativity and how would you actually do this? When you speak or think, those thoughts divide reality up into parts. It doesn’t matter whether the thoughts are really profound or really dumb. They are thoughts. The very act of denying relativity is a thought. Pretending to be beyond relativity is a relative thought that divides life into Absolute and relative. This writing is a relative viewpoint, and not objectively true. It won’t even resonate with every reader. The suffering comes from believing that your thoughts are representing a true, accurate, and objective picture of reality. That’s the rub.
Once you begin seeing that you aren’t thinking objectively, relativity is fun, like a play. Transcending relativity is only important when you see relativity as a problem. And of course that problem is created through thinking, which is relative. Trying to eradicate pronouns or any reference to yourself or others may simply mean that you still experience what you believe to be an objective self that must censor itself. We are always playing around with language. But rearranging our thoughts isn’t necessarily a sign of awakening from identifying with thought. It’s just rearrangement. And we will rearrange thoughts in any number of ways to find some landing point that divides a self against the others. Recognizing an unshakeable silence is not personal. Yet, we love to make it personal, like “I’ve recognized silence and you haven’t it.” It’s another rearrangement of thoughts, an investment in some objective self. What is there to transcend when the play of life is seen to be empty, and not actually full of real divisions? Love it, or hate it, but at least see it as a play.
4) Keep it simple
This relates to the relativity part above. Anything you perceive as right/wrong, good/bad, enlightened/unenlightened, valuable/valueless about yourself, others, the world or reality isn’t there objectively. It’s your thoughts. Think away if you wish, but don’t be confused about this simple, basic point. Of course, that goes for everything said here.
5) Avoid Dangling Carrots, Then Investigate
If you read somewhere that someone seems to have had a deeper recognition than you have, assume it’s a dangling carrot first, then investigate. People have a way of wording things that makes it look as if they are special. When they speak of stages and levels, notice that they always place themselves near the top of the stages or levels (or they place THEIR teacher there). And this is often just a self-centered way of saying, “I’m more special.” They may have added some belief about themselves that subtly gives them a sense of being higher or more awakened then others. Don’t fall for it.
If it pulls you into seeking into the future, it’s a carrot, a mirage, a belief that there is something presently wrong that you have to get away from or move beyond. But do investigate. It may be that this person has stabilized (so to speak) and is not experiencing some of the sticky points mentioned here. Find out exactly what they are talking about and what beliefs were seen through. Ask them. Don’t assume you already know the answers. It may be that they are not offering a carrot to chase into the future, but rather a deeper recognition or seeing through of some belief that many people carry around. You may find that it’s not a matter of reaching some later stage, but more like the falling away of something believed and held to be reality. Awakening is like that. It’s not that you gain more. It’s that you lose. And what you lose was not reality. It was just a belief you were carrying.
6) Avoid the Belief that all concepts are false
That, itself, is a concept. If you look, it is not that concepts are the issue, it’s that there is a sense of self that grasps after them. When there is no more grasping, thought is seen to be beautiful and very much a part of human experience. Like everything else, it is welcomed, and not made into some enemy that needs to be eradicated. Thoughts may quiet naturally, but that’s just because one loses interest in one’s story, drama and fixed conceptions of reality and even one’s story of being awakened from the story, the drama, and all fixed conceptions of reality. What’s left? …The capacity to express and think or not, whatever arises. Any way you slice it, everything we say is a concept, including concepts about silence or non-conceptuality, and even the concepts that try to eradicate other concepts.
7) Be Transparent (tell on yourself at all costs)
Whether you begin teaching or helping others or not, the tendency after the fall is to be blind to the movements of self that are still operating. And the tendency, even when you see them, is to downplay them and only speak of the plush bliss or infinite peace or beyondness or radical freedom that you have come to know. For example, you aren’t likely to talk about how unblissful it was to puke your guts up the other night after getting food poisoning or subtle feelings of inadequacy that still pop up in your marriage. ”All that messy humanness” is irrelevant. But how irrelevant is it? Is this just the mind hiding behind a belief, “I’m awakened” or even “there is no one to awaken” or some other belief in transcendence? If you have transcended all human messiness, why are you still getting upset in certain areas of relationship? Why are you still trying to prove something to other humans, even that you have transcended everything? Isn’t that still human stuff? Do turtles brag about transcending turtlehood? Do birds try to make personal claims about recognizing the air more than their fellow birds? Stick with the simple seeing that no one cares nearly as much about your awakening story or insights as you do. Share them freely, but see they are just part of the story of you, even the parts that talk of transcendence. […]
8) Virtually everything comes down to fear
If you don’t know what is disturbing you, assume it’s fear and just feel it, without story. Fear of anger, fear of fear, fear of intimacy, fear of being wrong, fear of death, fear of uncertainty, fear of being nobody, fear of not being loved, etc, etc. Just feeling fear directly, without story, makes stabilization happen more smoothly, without the need for a dramatic “dark knight of the soul” process. Sometimes it looks like something other than fear. For example, getting really busy intellectualizing a grand scheme to explain intricate levels of awakening, discomfort with real intimacy with others, or a reaction against what someone says doesn’t always appear like fear at first, until you check into the body. And there it is.
9) See through body identification
One can see “no self” when it comes to the story or pattern of thoughts and emotions, but still have a very visceral sense that “I am this body.” Body identification accounts for a lot of the struggle experienced after the fall. Get with someone who has seen through body identification. It clears up a lot, especially the very subtle movement to resist uncomfortable sensations as if the sensation is you.
10) Look for any place where you are rejecting
The ego can be seen as rejection of emotions, thoughts, views, experiences, and other people. This can continue on after the fall. Wherever you are rejecting, notice that it is often out of fear and a continued belief in a separate self. You are afraid, even if you are trying to claim “there is no me.” Admit it to yourself and let the emotion, all emotions, be as they are without story, facing them fully, seeing that there arise and fall and that they cannot kill you or even harm you. They are temporary energies. That’s it. What often trips people up after the fall is an inability to be with the most painful emotions, a subtle rejecting of your own experience. Open to it. If you have seen there is no self at the core, there is nothing to be afraid of with regard to emotions.
11) Trust your own experience:
This is one of the hallmarks of the period “after the fall.” This is about your happiness and freedom, which can only really be found in your own experience. Eventually, you will come to see that there is no authority. You will come to listen to other views, and take them in, while remaining true to your own experience, finding your own voice, and letting awakening unfold for you in its own way. If you find yourself still following every word of a teacher, re-examine that belief. This includes what I’m saying here. Don’t trust me. Look into these things for yourself. Everything written here is second hand knowledge.
12) Avoid extreme views
If you find yourself uttering any opposites as if one is true and the other is not, let that be an alarm bell that lets you know you are still possibly holding onto beliefs about the experience of awakening, still trying to land somewhere. As Buddha said, “Don’t be attached to conceptions of self or no self.” Don’t be attached to your ideas about awakening. They are YOUR ideas, that’s all. This includes all opposites.
Image courtesy of pixtawan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
A few days ago, I was dejected: the boutique hotel we had chosen for our family holiday called to say they had been sold out just a few hours before. As I walked off into my room gloomily, my three-year-old son tagged behind me, asking me: what happened, papa?
Papa is sad, I told him.
Why, he persisted.
I looked into his serious eyes and decided to give him the truth even though it would not make any sense to him: “The hotel we wanted to stay in for our holidays does not have rooms for us so papa is sad.”
He screwed up his forehead trying to understand, then replied: “But mama is still there.”
I stopped in my tracks. Yes, it was true: I did still have his mama, and him, and my family. And so much more to be happy for in that moment. I took a deep breath. And I realized I had more than enough air to fill my lungs for the rest of my life. I had enough earth to explore for the rest of my days. And my life itself is a pure gift – none of us can ‘earn’ even a moment of it.
That tiny exchange with my son triggered off a little snowball of gratitude. Over the week, I began to see that what I called my ‘burdens’ were blessings I was blaming to avoid facing the real issues; and those ‘real’ issues didn’t actually exist outside of my thoughts. Perhaps the only thing as amazing as seeing how much is perfect in your life is seeing how easily the mind gets locked onto the tiny apparent imperfections.
It turned out to be a challenging week, with a few unexpected expenses, delays and stressful moments. But whenever I found myself pulled down into negativity, I reminded myself: But mama is still there. It made me smile and became my personal code to remind me of everything that is all around serving me in that moment.
Eventually, our hotel room worked out perfectly too, as we have found an even better option – a mountain cottage – for ourselves. But the greater joy is in knowing that, regardless of whether it happened or not, ‘mama is still there’.
There’s a very good reason I have been posting infrequently of late: I was stuck in a groove, cut off from life and, as it tends to happen, cut off from my empath brother and mentor GD too.
When GD senses such an energetic wall around a person, ‘his system withdraws’ and he appears to suddenly become unavailable to you. When seen through the cloudy eyes of anger, his silence can be misunderstood in many ways. But in hindsight, giving space is a kind and sane response to another’s subconscious rebellion. And for more than a week, I had been energetically rebelling and pushing him away.
“I don’t have any judgment about that,” GD said to me lightheartedly when I spoke to him after almost a week . “But if you are closed to me, chances are that you are closed to receiving from other parts of life too.”
I agreed glumly.
“The picture I get of you is that of a kid in a candy store,” he continued. “But the kid has his arms crossed angrily and is telling himself some stories that is making everything inaccessible. And then this kid is also wondering why he feels so sad.”
On the phone, he helped me to identify the stories I was using and suggested I try the Focus Wheel Process. As ‘homework’, he gave a few lines to explore and ramble with EFT, each of which, he said, would help me release different variations of the same energy…
Clearing the charge around each story, the world literally looked like a lighter, brighter place after many days. I wanted to share this for all of you who may be feeling temporarily down and disconnected, with one very important message: open your arms; the candy is waiting.
For many years, my mentor GD had written on the wall near his bed, the line: “There Is No Such Thing As A Mistake In Existence, Only Limited Vision.” And on some dark days, this is about all the spiritual teaching one needs to hear. Here is a fragment of a Shin Buddhist Poem from Taitetsu Unno’s book ‘River of Fire, River of Water’ which reflects that same truth beautifully…
You, as you are, you’re just right.
Your parents, your children, your daughter-in-law, your grandchildren,
they are, all for you, just right.
Happiness, unhappiness, joy and even sorrow,
for you, they are just right.
The life that you tread is neither good nor bad.
For you, it is just right.
Whether you go to hell or to the Pure Land,
wherever you go is just right.
Nothing to boast about, nothing to feel bad about,
nothing above, nothing below.
Even the day and month that you die,
even they are just right.
I remember my first brush with entities. I had just finished my inner child healing course and was invited by a friend to stay over because she said that she constantly sensed the presence of someone. She even had had experiences of talking to them spontaneously and releasing a few of them into the light without any experience whatsoever. As a result she was afraid to meditate.