Look Pa, No Rules !!!

Nirvaan at The Beach

My son is at an age when he creates the rules of whatever games he plays. And still gets that the point of every game is to have fun. So if he dashes into a wall in an online game, he claps with glee. Collecting the maximum widgets doesn’t make sense to him yet. He is just as happy prancing around aimlessly.

As he grows up, he will be taught that every game has a purpose. And rules. And only one correct end goal. He will feel sad when he doesn’t reach that end. And frustrated when he feels he’s not good enough. He will get stressed playing the same game. He may begin to feel that if he hasn’t completed or mastered something, it was a waste of time.

Gradually, as he becomes an adult, he will completely forget that the rules came afterwards. Not just in his play – which will become serious and competitive – but in life too. He will forget that the bottomline of the game of life, too, is to have fun. He will believe that collecting the maximum widgets called ‘money’ is the only correct point of this game.

He will buy into the rules: that you can only be happy once you can be described as successful or rich or have a perfect body; or that you can’t live ecstatically until you find the perfect partner or perfect enlightenment. He may add rules, limitations and conclusions around his creativity that don’t allow him to be spontaneous and original. He may even lock himself down with judgments about what he can wear, what he can eat and how he should live in order to not ‘fail’ at life.

But maybe, someday, his own child will come running, squealing with joy towards him across the grass… and tumble. And then laugh with wild joy and do it again because falling is so much fun! And hopefully, that day, my son will remember that it is only a grown-up rule that falling down is bad.

And, in fact, that rules in life are actually arbitrary. The solid realities that bind us are enforced by thoughts and concepts that we have breathed life into. He will realize he can still choose any rule… but he doesn’t have to! And he may join his son in laughing because he will instantly feel freer than he has felt in many years. He will have fun once again in that moment when he is playing the game like he did as a child — without someone else’s rules.

Picture courtesy Vishal Punjabi @ The Wedding Filmer

11 thoughts on “Look Pa, No Rules !!!

  1. Wonderful piece!
    I need this reminder often 😛
    Life is meant to be enjoyed and fun-filled.
    Quoting Chetan Bhagat here: Be Sincere, not serious.

  2. What a beautiful wonderful blog! Those are truly happy who have understood that not money or success make you happy but feeling joy and happiness every day – children are the best teachers! Thank you a lot for that marvelous piece of remembering – and a big hug for you and your son!

  3. Soooooooooooo true Aalif 😉

    My 4year little boy, is like yours, no rules, no danger, no consciousness….
    My 9year boy is awareness of the danger,of rules but do not always follow them !!!
    & plus Both are never never satisfied with what they have 😉

    (We also passed by this phase being youngs (in all case ME!!!) a real small outlaw never satisfied ;-)) Ohh God, May my parents forgives me my nonsenses )

    But what would I be without them, my true happiness,my reason for living, my only real success,my greatest wealth , it is these two little monsters !& I HOPE that when they will growing up & matured,after their phase of disenchantment, disappointment, pressure……..they could have the same HAPPINESS that me with them INSHALLAH 😉

    Thank you so much

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