Connecting with non-duality always feels like a homecoming to me. A return to a restful and nourishing womb from the dazzling chaos of sensory perception. But sometimes, the words and conviction of someone who is ‘being that space’ of oneness are really helpful to find one’s way out of the mind.
Here are some powerful words my mentor GD said to me one day when I was temporarily lost in a jungle of self-doubt, depression and anger.
I had spoken to him after many days because I had also been holding the story that he was somehow blocking my creativity. Beneath it was a fear that my old ‘solid’ life was slipping out of grasp and the way ahead seemed less and less visible. With my clever, commercially-calculated creativity, I believed I could hold on to my old ‘secure’ life. But he did not seem to encourage it. So I was mad at him and mad at life.
When we finally did talk, GD did not mollycoddle the ego. Instead of offering temporary fixes, he went straight to the root. He did not tell ‘me’ what to do, he spoke on behalf of Me.
Speaking from the space where he and I were not two separate entities, he offered a paradigm-shaking view of ‘my life’ – it was like the voice of my own Soul speaking to me. Here is the distilled essence of those words:
“I who am Consciousness, have nothing to do with success and failure,
but sometimes give reality to thoughts of success and failure.
I who am Consciousness, have nothing to do with happiness or sadness,
but sometimes believe the stories of happiness or sadness.
I who am consciousness… am whole, complete and fulfilled.
Except… when I start playing with thoughts of incompletion and scarcity.
I who am Consciousness, who am already love, peace and joy,
have bought into the story that happiness must come from outside,
and I am waiting for something to fulfill this story.
I who am Consciousness
am the life in your body… and the light in your mind.
All your thoughts, feelings, desires and emotions are non-existent without me.
Forget about aalif.
It will get taken care of.
What you are calling ‘I’ is just the sum total of your memories.
You are simply Consciousness being aalif in this moment.
Aalif is the hand-puppet – Consciousness is the hand.
The hand-puppet was never meant to be taken so seriously.
You have abandoned 99% percent of yourself – which is Consciousness.
And embraced only 1% of yourself – which is the thought-sensation called aalif.
The question for you is simple:
Are you willing to live from the standpoint of Consciousness?
Or do you want to continue being a conflicted flow of memories and desires?
You say you want to be free.
But freedom actually means – freedom from the illusion called aalif.”