253726_10150658077235417_673540416_20311730_5916477_nMy 3-year-old son Nirvaan is at that age when “whys” are sprouting out of him like mushrooms in monsoon. A few weeks ago, we tried to turn the tables on him by asking him “why”. He took our question seriously. He stopped playing and arched his eyebrows and said confidently: “Because… agubudagah.” Which doesn’t mean anything in any language.

Since then it has become a game: the answer to every why according to him is agubudagah. Which stops any further whys right there, with a laugh.

But it struck me that when my mind gets stuck in the groove of trying to figure out the “whys” of my life, do I really know any better? Did an event happen because it was astrologically determined? Or did it happen because of karma? Did I subconsciously manifest it? Or was it unavoidably destined? Is it a gift, a  lesson or a punishment from God? Or is it finally just a meaningless happening in a dream within consciousness?

My mind finds a certain story appealing at a certain time, and later latches onto another for the same event. It believes a painful story or an ego-gratifying one. Every answered why begets a further why ad infinitum. And the mind struggles to find the final answer. But after thousands of books and 39 years of life, I still can’t assert that any answer to the “why” question is the absolute last one. They all seem like plausible theories which are valid – but not true.

So henceforth, instead of struggling to the find the answer to my “whys”, I am seriously considering the option of agreeing with my 3-year-old: “Because agubudagah”. It is closest to the reality that I-don’t-really-know-and-my-answer-is-gibberish-anyway. And it’s way more fun!

13 thoughts on “Agubudagah!

  1. So rightly pointed out my friend… but when you are not able to find an answer despite applying multiple theories for the same situation and satisfying the mind’ ego… do you think there is no answer or it is just an event or its all synchronized and you need to just surrender and accept it?
    In my case I give rationale to different situations which suits me in best possible manner… though not the best way..but since I am not able to find a correct answer I just accept what suits best for me at that point in time…

    • As I grow older, I think either there are a million correct answers. Or none.

      Just read a quote by Carl Sagan yesterday: “If you really wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.”

      It rang so true: without the universe, sun, moon, stars, ancestors… there would be no apple pie in this moment!

      • Your sweet little one is very wise…35 has made me question various things and ask the BIg Why Questions…how do you even know whether what you think is the answer is the correct answer – your comment that there are a million correct answers is comforting… As I look around and see what wonderful things Allah SWT has blessed me with Alhamdulilah the routine and normalcy of life is a great gift to have – but sometimes the itch for something else is also so great – a good husband, children, house, job are all there and yet we still look for something – not sure what……. I guess then it is about giving back to society and seeking fulfillment in that? What say you? …….
        That….. and the fact that I have thrown a big wish to the universe – (Ok on to my lighter side!) As I told you Aalif I believe strongly In Allah SWT and in the teachings of the Secret! Have you read it and her other books the Magic and the Power? And therefore the wish I have thrown out there is to meet SRK and become his best friend! HA HA AH – No seriously -See – I figure that I am 35 and he is 47 so he still has inshallah another 40 years and thats a good enough time to get into his life and be his best friend – right? 🙂 And then I met you – one of his best friends…… Hmmm the universe is working !! and whats part of the fun is to test it!! PS: Eternally Grateful (wink!!)

      • I have seen The Secret documentary. If you like it, you will like the Teachings of Abraham. Hope you get your wish though I hope even more that you see that happiness and perfection is here now already 🙂

      • Will check out that book thanks! AND – For sure!! Never for one minute do I doubt that Perfection and Extreme Happiness is what Allah SWT has blessed me with – much more than i ever deserved Mashallah – and for that I am constantly grateful and humbled….. However as we revel in that we also aspire to do more – the large questions about – now what can I give back ? My dream would be to build a community centre a ghusl hall, a place where the youth can get together in my community; a childrens home and a place where people can share Islam and life together… Inshallah that is my dream and I will get there one day….And while I get there I will be getting to know SRK and him me and we can exchange notes on kids and life and happiness and I will be able to put a smile on his face as he does on mine every day! HA AAA : As they say – a girl can dream! Eternally Grateful !!

        Thank you for this wonderful site you have and all your wonderful wonderful blogs – I can see why SRK said what he did about you in his tweet – By the way your name Aalif also stands for so much and conjures up many positive thoughts…………..

  2. Jeepers, Nirvaan is the cutest thing ever! And what a fabulous little guru. I kept a diary once so I could log all the ‘wisdoms’ of the day, the metaphors etc etc, only to find later that I’d proved what amazing story-tellers we all are. It all turned out to mean something entirely different on hindsight. So the exercise taught me to discard every story and just wait for the outcome.

    • LOL… Wow what a lovely insight! It’s such a pleasure to write something and then see its reflection in someone else’s comments. Beautiful! Thank you for commenting…

  3. How sweet. My question today was, why must God have created all this incredible variety, this beauty, this diversity in life, in green nature and flowers. After some wondering I realized, ‘to amaze us’. I like ‘“Because agubudagah” better as an answer !! Thank u for this. Love it

  4. Lord…I love the very sage confident look in his eyes! I believe it’s the beautiful look of innocence still allowing itself to see magic & not question it! Adults lovingly say to themselves “oooh, they’re small & silly, but they’ll grow up!” when perhaps they should look for a bit, to see whether all their restlessness, their tormenting “why”‘s aren’t because they’re wise & apt, but because they were so busy growing up, that they may have drifted away from this innocent state of blissful confidence they now miss.
    Lovely lovely post! And you have a beautiful baby boy! May life preserve the beautiful spark in his eyes always!
    Thank you for sharing Sir!

  5. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww what a sweet cute little thing!! i have always admired his name now i have a very cute little face to add to the name only admired more..:) and yes, he is that wise..children i do enjoy most being around if not for teaching adults i would’ve definitely gone for kindergarten kids..bless the little guru..after mom,Dad and defintely the genes of GD 🙂

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