Honoring Your Transformation

Constantly working on self-transformation is one thing, but standing up for it is quite another, as I learned from my mentor GD a few months ago. It was the day after a powerful weekend workshop on ending victim consciousness, and we were sitting on his verandah with another friend Shaun. There was a lingering glow of the ecstatic joy and empowerment, but there was still a gnawing uneasiness inside. It was the fear of saying out loud that we did not feel like victims anymore – of standing up as we were. The conversation moved to an important subject I had never considered: the importance of honoring your transformation.

“If you do not acknowledge what happened yesterday,” GD reminded us, “you are actually diminishing yourself. The mind makes you afraid that if you truly ‘own’ your transformation, people will judge you and criticize you. Or, you will fall down and be worse off than when you started. So you often betray your own transformation.”

Shaun spoke up, expressing a common problem: whenever he talks about “spiritual stuff” to others, he feels so nervous and confused, he almost goes into the discussion expecting to be ridiculed.

“The world will always reflect what you think you are inside,” GD replied. “Because you haven’t got faith in your own transformation, your own journey, your own process, you are, at some level, beaming that out to the world. When we are in sync, we say: this is where I am, and there is more to be done. When we are out of sync, we either pretend to be perfect and sermonize, or we go to the other extreme and say ‘I have not really got anything’. But both are not in integrity, and will make us uncomfortable.”

I quietly recalled how it took me many years to come out of my spiritual closet. Ten years in a company and no one in office really knew what I did on weekends. If someone else brought the subject up, I would either dismiss it or diminish it into a joke, but always avoid speaking simply and clearly about it. I did not fit in, but I made an effort not to stand out either. I never acknowledged any spiritual progress to myself either, believing it would be arrogant to claim to be anything but a poor-struggling-seeker. I considered it self-effacing humility, but was it really Self-betrayal?

As GD continued to speak, he put it into a unique perspective: “Remember, that if you can’t honor your transformation, you can never truly honor your teachers. You cannot honor them because you don’t believe anything has really happened.”

Later, I spent some time with myself writing down how I am different from what was five years ago. I realized while writing that the mind habitually weighs us down by noticing one wrong amidst ninety-nine rights – it notices the painful itch, not the healthy body. So doing this exercise sincerely – without trying to falsify, exaggerate, prove or improve anything – felt amazing!

So give yourself this gift today. Take some time off to honor your evolution.

Stunning image used under Creative Commons from AlicePopkorn

15 thoughts on “Honoring Your Transformation

  1. Great though…completly agree on acknowledging what you said..however there is a thin line between acknowledging the transformation to boasting something I have achieved.
    More often people boast in the name of transformation and in reality not an iota of their being has changed.
    However self recognition and accepting is the key. The times when i have said it lound to myself are the times when the changed has lived in me longer then expected..!!

    • Yes, so well said.
      I was at the other extreme of being so much weighed down by “humility” that I thought loving myself and acknowledging myself was a sin!
      The point is to acknowledge it to yourself at least – duniya gayi bhaad mein! Anyway, the world reflects what you believe inside so it doesn’t matter… 🙂

    • Thanks… I am glad it resonated. It was a difficult one to write – finding the balance between the path of mastery where there is perceived progress, and the path of transcendence (ie: advaita) where the only “progress” is going beyond all progress! 🙂

  2. Thank you for these words of honesty. David Bingham says, we are a construct determined by choices made on some level prior to this. Some of us want to be in control and others feel they’re inferior – same both ways – we may be seeking the circumstances that match the choice… but the key to it is that we are the ‘infinite being’ and knowing this clears away all the limitations

  3. Pingback: Transformation and Celebration « Communication and the Mystery of 2012

  4. Great blog. This is such a big theme in my own process and the timing with which it got to me is truly miraculous. I was dealing with the exact same issue yesterday at the same moment my girlfriend printed this post for me. Incredible, I could write a post about this myself right now, well actually just did so. Many thanks for the inspiration!

  5. ‘Bumping’ into it now when I just realized that I have not been honoring my own transformations…that it is okay to talk about challenges you have overcome. Even though I never was in a closet, I was afraid of speaking about my transformations feeling like it would be akin to boasting about achievements. Lately though I have been realising that it is okay to speak about challenges and how you overcame them and for that, the self-work necessary is to write it out to yourself, for yourself and celebrate it. 🙂
    Much much thanks Aalif…how powerful this connection is! 🙂

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