Homecoming Meditation

Anyone who’s ever meditated (or tried to meditate!) can identify with this instantly – and has probably gone through it more times than they would like to recall!

I sit and watch.
On some days, it feels impossible to find the centre:
the pull of opinions and emotions is so strong
and the day’s debris are lodged in my muscles.
the mind and eyes dance a ceaseless tango
yet I am unable to think and unable to see.
nothing in me is still, it seems.

I sit and watch.
something begins to change.
a little snatch of seeing before I lose patience
and itch to continue any pointless pursuit:
to ingest some information till sleep silences everything
Stopping this runaway train is too painful,
better to speed it up till it crashes.

I sit and watch.
sounds begin to come into focus
faraway sounds I didn’t hear a few seconds before.
sounds that take me inwards, beyond the mind
they create a clear passageway inside me so easily.
sounds, empty of content or meaning,
feel so close to silence.

I sit and watch.
tiredness catches hold of me.
exhaustion hidden beneath the rabid rushing
my shoulders feel heavy now and suddenly
sleep overpowers me; and just as suddenly, it is gone.
as my stomach relaxes, I realize it has been tight as a rock
my eyes come back to the now – and lose their glassy glaze.

I sit and watch.
I sense that silence has found its path –
the outer and inner silence have connected,
the current of peace is flowing again smoothly.
I notice I am sitting in a beautiful house – my own –
but I never noticed the way the light fell on the photographs.
And how comfortable the couch looks with pillows strewn.

I sit and watch.
I have finally come home.

 

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